(S06E03) We're in Memphis, Tennessee -- home of Al Green, B.B. King, and the one-and-only Elvis Presley. This week, 16,000 people turned up, all convinced that they've got what it takes to be the next American Idol. But only 22 of them earn a golden ticket to Hollywood, meaning that searching for an American Idol is a lot like looking for a needle in a freaking (or freaky) haystack.Luckily this week's auditions aren't nearly as bizarre as last week's, and the judges' comments aren't quite so cruel (or maybe I've just become desensitized to it). But there's still more "bad" auditions shown than "good." And as expected, Simon "I'm-just-being-honest" Cowell is as cranky and rude as ever, especially towards an over-zealous cheerleader who brought his squad as back-up. But there's some amazingly positive comments too -- from Simon, of all people.
And in the spirit of minimizing all the negativity surrounding the audition shows, let's focus on the positive first.
THE YAYS:
JASON SUNDANCE HEAD (27) blames hippy parents for his name. I'm not sure who he blames for the rug growing out of his chin. He's been singing forever, and says he thought he'd be famous by the time he graduated high school. His dad, Roy Head, had a number one song in 1965 knocked off the charts by The Beatles hit, "Yesterday." He sings "Stormy Monday" and Randy says he "blew it out." I think that's a compliment, but I'm not certain. Convinced Sundance is Final 12 material, Simon says his audition "blew Taylor out of the park." The words "blew" blow" and "blowing" seem to be used A LOT during this episode.
My Prediction: Final 12 for sure (especially with a shave).
DANIELLE McCOLLOCH (18) is a young, blonde cutie, so even before she sings a note, I know she's going to get a golden ticket. She sings Aretha Franklin and surprisingly Randy doesn't care for her. Paula tells her she has "an old soul" (and once again I'm not sure if this is meant as a compliment). Although Simon agrees with Randy he puts her through anyway, saying he likes the "blues part of her voice." I'm always amazed how much easier it is for Simon to find something positive to say when a cute girl is in the room.
My Prediction: She's young and I think she'll struggle during Hollywood Hell Week, but still could advance to Final 24.
SEAN MICHEL (27) actually says he's been told he looks like Osama bin Laden or Jesus or Castro or "just a homeless bum." And he really does look like all of those people rolled into one, which is why the guy has no right walking into the room and rocking out Johnny Cash. Simon surprises me by saying yes. And Randy says "it doesn't matter what you look like, you can blow." There's that word again. I wonder "since when do looks not matter?" Every other darn week, the judges tell us LOOKS MATTER. Now, I'm really confused.
My Prediction: Without a major makeover, Sean will not make it to the Final 12.
MELINDA DOOLITTLE (28) is a professional background singer who says she's ready to move out of her comfort zone, and try for a chance in the spotlight. She sings Stevie Wonder's "For Once in My Life" and Simon says she lacks confidence and attitude but is a "brilliant singer." Seriously, Simon said something truly nice and positive. Randy agrees, calling hers one of the best auditions EVER. The judges give her lots of positive "believe-in-yourself" advice and honest-to-goodness praise. See, Simon DOES have a heart.
My Prediction: Unless she finds her confidence, she may crumble during Hollywood Week. But I'd love to see her in the Final 12.
PHIL STACY (28) tells us that he missed the birth of his second baby girl to be at the Idol audition, and something about that really annoys the hell out of me (probably because I'd kill my husband if he missed the birth of our chlld for any reason). It also seems like a lame attempt to buy "audience sympathy." He sings "My Girl" and dedicates it to his "three girls" and I think he lays on the sap just a little too strong, while his voice is weak. Paula agrees with me, saying that the beginning was "weird." He tries another song, Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On," and Simon still thinks he can't start a song. But Paula and Randy are convinced that Phil deserves a golden ticket.
My Prediction: He'll fizzle out early in Hollywood.
THE NAYS:
I find it interesting that a lot of the wackier contestants come to the auditions with their very own nicknames, as if they were hand-picked in a casting session.
FRANK BYERS (21) is an enthusiastic cheerleader who goes by the nickname "Frank N Beans" and shows up with his cheerleading squad and band. Simon absolutely hates him, calling him corny and cabaret. The dude leaves with a positive energy though and leads his fellow cheerleaders in a raucous cheer causing cranky Simon to get up and scream out the door for them to shut up. Seacrest tells Simon he's being a "Beep."
TIMIKA SIMS (16) calls herself "Meeky" probably because she doesn't say much. She enters the room mumbling, angering Simon who can't understand a word she says. In Simon's defense, I can't understand her either. But she's only a kid, so I decide Simon should give her a break.
CHRISTOPHER RIVERA(18) mumbles through Stevie Wonder's "Superstitious." ALEX PARTEE doesn't have a nickname, but she does have big teeth and big jangly dangling earrings. Randy calls her audition "a little strange." WANDERA HITCHYE (23) has red hair, and is told she's good, but nothing special. She leaves in a huff, throwing this week's required "hissy fit."
CHRISTOPER "Topher" McCAIN is a big, husky guy with no fashion-sense whose wife recently left him after he found out she'd been "messing around." The poor guy actually forgave her, and took her back, until she told him she wanted to keep on "messing around." He naturally wants to become famous to get revenge on his wife, the "BEEP". And he wants Paula to know he's s available. He sings "Footloose" and it's pathetic, because he is this week's required "pathetic guy." Simon says he sings like a drunk at a wedding. Paula tries to be nice, and I imagine she's working on a restraining order the minute the dude leaves the room.
JANITA BURKS (20) has boobs -- and they're hanging out and that's all I see. She sings "Disco Inferno" and it's not good, because she's this week's "odd audition."
ROBERT LEE HOLMES (21) claims he sounds just like Elvis, but he's a skinny, bald dude in a neon-green shirt and we know before he opens his mouth that he's this week's "awfully clueless" singer. He seems to be in complete shock when the usually-sweet Paula informs him he sucks (although she says it nicer than that).
That's all for Memphis, a city that apparently loved Paula, as she is seen sharing hugs with various people.
Tomorrow: New York City
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
1-24-2007 @ 12:47AM
TedSez said...
I think the producers are getting the message that the audience disliked the meanness of the last couple of shows, because the promos I saw for this one focused on the positive auditions. I wouldn't be surprised if they re-edited some upcoming shows to spend a little less time with the weirdos and a little more with the good singers. (Still, if they can't find TV time for most of the contestants who get through to Hollywood, why don't they put all of their auditions on the Web? I bet a lot of people would watch that... and I'll be expecting credit for the idea, Simon Fuller.)
Unfortunately, they're still making the worst singers come back and perform a "losers' medley" to kick them when they're down and make fun of them all over again. Guys, when people say the show is too cruel, that's kind of what they mean. Cut it out.
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1-24-2007 @ 1:03AM
Hone Money said...
That dude in the photo should get to be in just because of his Goatee.
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1-24-2007 @ 5:14AM
Jeff Denton said...
Thanks for the recap!
For anyone wanting more great American Idol recaps, be sure to check out author Linda Sharp's Don't Get Me Started blog at http://dontgetmestarted-lindasharp.typepad
.com/.
They are always hilarious and instantly addictive!
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1-24-2007 @ 7:17AM
Karen said...
I don't understand why America is so critical of the judges just stating the obvious truth. These folks showing up for their 30 seconds of television fame should be trying out for a spot on America's Freak Show, not American Idol. They have no talent and are obviously freaks of nature. Why exploit them? They shouldn't even be shown. I don't want to see the idiots, I want to see those with real talent.
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1-24-2007 @ 9:26AM
Ron said...
Liz,
Nice recap of last night. I, too, agree the judges send mixed messages, especially when as you correctly say, that a blonde cutie is given the thumbs up (she did sing pretty well, I thought), but the Castro guy also gets the green light, with no mention of his looks. Huh????
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1-24-2007 @ 8:42AM
Kay said...
I too want to see the people with talent. It reminds me of our school system, just giving people credit for "trying". Let's face it some people are successful in one thing and others in another. Show us the REAL talent please.
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1-24-2007 @ 8:46AM
Mitch said...
If Sundance is even half the singer that Roy Head is, he will be the best performer that has ever appeared on American Idol. "Treat Her Right" is one of the great songs of the '60's and Roy could move like James Brown.
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1-24-2007 @ 1:19PM
Roe C said...
I still don't understand how must people still don't get auditions week. These shows are very little about the real talent and more about all the other stuff. The next round is all about the talent. This is meant to be exactly what it is....showing America how many clueless people there are in the world(and now we know most of them live in Seatlle. Must be the rain, coffee combo)As far as the judges being more cruel..I don't see it. They are always like that, plus I think Simon has been lots nicer then in the past. To sum it up if you can't sing, if you can't handle criticism, if you look like a fashion disaster...STAY HOME
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1-24-2007 @ 8:59AM
Michael said...
It's the "car wreck" syndrome that is the appeal on the less-than-good singers.
But I don't agree with the one poster that say that they are being kicked "while they are down".
They are in front of over 35 million people (that is one pretty good 15 minutes of fame!). I would say it is more a matter of kicking them when they are "up"!
Also notice that they are a bit more polite and gentle when turning down the more serious singers.
"You're very good... But just not good enough for Hollywood."
Great show. Even with Simon.
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1-24-2007 @ 1:13PM
Barbara McFadden said...
I want those people that say they are not going to watch the show because Simon is too mean, to SHUT UP!!! I love Simon. I love the fact that he will say what we say at home. Its mean because in this world of media we must not hurt any one unless they can not hear it. I am short, some might say fat, and I can not sing, so if were on Idol I would know that infomation going in that Simon might say "You Suck" I would say OK but at least I meet Simon.Those people that go on there and think they can sing and I Laughing so hard at them They know they stink, if not they will..
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1-24-2007 @ 3:42PM
Michelle said...
The terrible auditions are what the majority wants to see... for good laughs! If the people they show on TV are that oblivious to the fact that they can't sing, they deserve to get laughed at by America. They know this is a TV show, they know (I'm sure they have all heard about the judges remarks) how rough the judges can be. Without showing the terrible auditions, they wouldn't even have a show to broadcast! I can't tell you how many people quit watching the show after the initial auditions, unlike me! And like Carrie Underwood said it, "the public is a lot more cruel than the judges so get used to it" For the producers: Keep me laughing, we love it!
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1-24-2007 @ 9:15AM
Michelle said...
I hate to say this...part of fun of the auditions are the judges rude comments. Yes, the bush baby comment was cruel, and I do feel like some of these people are going to walk away damaged because of the rudeness of the comments. However, Simon acting civilized was disturbing. He's just always been rude, its one of the reasons people watch the show. I think the judges should be who they are, just toned down alittle. Last night was boring, not what people are used to.
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1-24-2007 @ 9:53AM
Sunshine said...
Sundance is a great and very talented guy. I have none him since high school and I fully believe he will win this year. He has a very diverse voice and is always able to bring it!!
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1-24-2007 @ 9:20AM
Cheryl said...
I agree that Sundance will be one of the final 12 if not the next American Idol. And yes, his Dad, Roy Head is one of the great singers of our time. Sundance get rid of the facial hair so we can see your good looks too. Oh !! and congratulations on the new baby.
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1-24-2007 @ 9:22AM
Rabbit said...
Prediction: Sundance & Melinda will make it to the final 12.
I can't believe no one commented on Robert Lee Holmes answer to Simon's question. When Bob-O said he wrote songs about himself singing, Simon asked how his songs ended, or more specifically, what do you put at the end of them? When the hapless guy answered "a period" I thought I would wet my pants. Couldn't stop laughing.
This week I did not feel sorry for any of the crazies that were shown. I believe they all knew what they were getting into.
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1-24-2007 @ 9:25AM
Patty said...
I have to agree with Simon when he said Sundance Head blew Taylor Hicks out of the park. That man can sing!! Can't wait to see what they do with his apprearance once the show really gets underway. He's got my vote!!
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1-24-2007 @ 9:30AM
Steph said...
CHRISTOPHER RIVERA the dude who sang superstitious was really really good and I understood every word he sang! those judges are usually dead on as far as bad singers but this time they were insane.
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1-24-2007 @ 9:36AM
nita said...
I agree with the majority, it was much better last night. But, Michelle has a good point, Simon has always been rude and people somewhat expect that--the judges do need to still be themselves but toned down. I feel they have indeed done some lasting damage on some of these kids. I hope off the camera apologies have been made.
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1-24-2007 @ 9:37AM
Kim said...
When Simon was the a-hole and Randy and Paula were goody goody, the show was soooooooo much better!! I love to hate Simon and his rude comments....while knowing Randy or Paula would say something nice to try and make up for it. Simon is a lovable a-hole, Paula and Randy are just stupid a-holes this season. Anyone agree?
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1-24-2007 @ 9:38AM
Alexandra said...
I think the only reason they toned down was because they were a half hour shorter due to the State of the Union. We'll see tonight.
As far as looks mattering, the main thing I've seen on this show is that you can't be overweight if you're white. If a fat white girl shows up, she could sing like Celine Dion and they'd still make fun of her. It also seems to be okay for men to be marginal-looking (Only one of last year's male finalists was conventionally handsome, whereas 5 of the 6 women looked like models), but girls have to be hot. So the Castro clone was okay because he was a guy.
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